abyssdressing | (no subject)

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characters: replicaberry

(no subject)

... [ ohhay, guess who woke up this afternoon with boybits again? he'd be more excited if he weren't still mildly phobic of everything. he pointedly takes the shirt he'd taken to sleeping in OFF, and is thusly wandering around with a coat around his shoulders but not fully on, his oversized navy blue pajama pants the only other article of clothing on his person. ...thusly, he's barefoot, shirtless, and wearing a coat incorrectly. but damn is he ever happy to be a boy again. he also appears to be looking for something. or as it were, someone. ]

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He's... [ gets quiet ] He's just upset, I guess. Same as I was.

... *hugs him*

[ starts, and for a few seconds he has to try really hard not to shake ]

Before we leave... there's an Asch here I want you to talk to.

[ bites his lip ]

He's a psychologist. He... made a career out of helping people.

Try.

[ statement complete with air quotes ]

Please. Just talk to someone about what happened.

[ his voice may or may not have cracked at some point throughout that statement. ]

... that's what I'm talking about. You were used, and you're just keeping it in.

[ curls up a little ]

You won't. Luke, things just don't go away.

Then why, years later, am I still affected by Van and my kid?!

[ folds over and curls his arms around his head ]

*stands* Then you'd rather be afraid of me? Of me, your original, of... damn it, Luke! This shit doesn't just go away. And if you don't want to talk about it and try not to be afraid of me, then maybe you should just shove that fucking ring up your ass! *breathing raggedly, trying not to cry* Because, damn it, I actually want you to be okay.

[ he hears her talking, but he doesn't really HEAR her until she mentions the ring, at which point his breath hitches and he lurches to his feet, taking one of her hands ] ... [ squeezes her hand and then lets go ] [ aka, if this relationship is as centered around sex as she just made it sound like, he doesn't want anything to do with it. ]

I am not fucking talking about sex! I'm talking about being able to be around us. He's practically your brother, and you can't talk to him without being afraid he'll do what that asshole did. You can't sit next to me without worrying that I might jump you and force you. Maybe you should talk about your feelings so that you know what's wrong, how to fix it for real, and so you can sit next to me, hug me, maybe even kiss me and know all I want is for you to be okay!

I j-- and... [ starts about six different sentences and stops them, before just shaking his head and taking a step backward ]

I love you, okay? And I don't want you to bottle this up. I want you to deal.

[ nods, reaching out to take her hand ]

*squeezes his hand*

[ steps forward and leans his forehead on her shoulder ]