abyssdressing | (no subject)

[ he's determined not to start crying again, if only because he is stronger than that. he's just tired and lonely and... ...well I guess right now he's really not stronger than that. ]

[ He can hear that Luke is on verge of breaking down into tears, and since he wants to be able to hold Luke, he moves to retrieve a box from the bathroom and then seats himself on the edge of the bed to begin bandaging his hand. ] Our lives have always been trouble. One small addition won't make things worse. It may help ease all of our loneliness...

[ still determined to not cry, although the result is more than he's heaving again. he flinched a lot when Asch got up, and didn't ever really relax so he's still folded in an uncomfortable-looking position at the edge of the bed when he starts bandaging himself. ...although after a little while he distracts himself with watching the bandaging and stops heaving to the point that he looks like he's having a seizure. ]

[ Now that his hand is no longer dripping blood on the floor, he directs his attention to Luke, staring at every little move he makes intently in hopes of understanding him a little better. ] ... [ With a look of determination, he eases himself closer to the replica, stopping halfway on the bed. ]

[ gives him a sort of wary look for a moment before reaching out to ghost his fingertips over his hand ]

Lies. [ Ignores the question, running his uninjured hand lightly up Luke's arm and around his shoulder. ]

[ closes his eyes over ]

You think I can sit by and watch you wander, lost and alone in the world? The person I used to be may have been able to do so, but that doesn't hold true any longer. I'm willing to suffer some grief to ease yours.

[ leans against him, carefully. ...ignoring the fact that he's naked and Asch is almost as naked. ]

... [ Averts his eyes and rests his palm on Luke's back, remaining quiet. The answer to his question involves the other member of their household and he doesn't believe mentioning her will help things right now. ]

[ the silence said enough, and Luke falls silent as well, once again surprised by the flare of not-quite-jealousy that makes his chest hurt. ] ...

[ Luke being quiet, let alone silent, is cause enough for concern. His arm slips lower to hook around Luke's waist and draw him in so that Asch might kiss his collarbone. ]

[ the sudden tears collecting in the corners of his eyes alarm him, as does the phrase that escapes him. ]

[ No, he really had no idea in the slightest, and it's likely to show in the surprised expression on his face. ] ...you dislike the life you have now so much?

[ oh hell, why did he say that? folds forward and covers his face with his hands, mostly out of embarrassment. why the hell would he say something like that? ]

... [ Takes his wrists in both hands, flinching just a bit, and pulls at his arms to look at him. ] Luke... I'm not one to believe in that bullshit of everything happening for a reason, but in your case, seeing him may have been intended to reassure you that you aren't alone for good.

[ frowns at his bandaged hand a little, wibbling the way he likes to ] [ ...he just really wants to collapse back into your chest and baww some more, Asch. ...but he's not going to. >[ he's determined. ...we'll see how long that lasts. ]

[ Asch is already on the verge of embracing Luke in a hug once more, but as long as he's talking and getting his feelings out, Asch won't interrupt him. His good hand brushes across his cheek, then his hair, and Asch leans in to press a kiss to the other's forehead, finally letting go with his injured hand. ]

... [ it always seems to be the affection that finally breaks him down. he makes a sort of coughing sound, going limp and not even quite crying so much as he is screaming into Asch's collarbone. ] [ because Luke is thoroughly convinced that somewhere along the line he Really Fucked Up. ]

[ After all his years after being kidnapped, after all the killing he had done, it was the mass of quivering replica in his arms that comes closest to making Asch himself snap. He doesn't though, clenching his teeth and burying his face deep into Luke's hair, hand moving across his back simply for the sake of feeling him. When he's finally able to speak his voice almost cracks. ] Nothing, Luke. You did nothing.

[ snakes his arms up around behind Asch, clinging ]

... [ Kisses his hair, hugging him tight. ]

[ shifts to embed one hand in Asch's hair, still hiccuping quietly ]

[ His lips trail down to Luke's forehead, slowly moving lower. ]

[ Luke is kind of soggy at the moment, but he shifts around to sit up a little straighter and paw at Asch's face ]