abyssdressing | (no subject)

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[With the old lock on his door broken, Ion brought a new lock and some tools to install it by himself. He will not ask for anyone's help, but it was clear that he doesn't know how to install it. He was not smiling as he usually does. Maybe his facial muscles became tired or maybe a part of him was not processing normally like it should for normal children. Whichever the case, it doesn't matter. He eyed the new doorknob in his hands, speaking to no one in particular.]

. . .I understand perfectly. Maybe that's it. I understand. Yes.

[What he didn't said publicly was "But they're only trash", only having thought about it.

In other words, you're free bother him.]

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I see he found your door as well.

Hmph. It's all for nothing. [Fiddles with the parts of his lock] I'm not the Ion he was looking for.

I have a feeling he simply was in the mood to cause some damage...

Do you need any help?

. . .[He hesitates.]

Yes. And I'm not going to bother asking for the password. Somehow, I knew it was you.

Of course. I imagine that people here would need to develop a, sense of sorts in order to stay here long without going mad.

[looks at the door's lock for a moment, frowning in thought] We can still talk about exspheres if you'd like.

What I want to talk about. . .is getting rid of the world.

[He hesitates in his speaking.] In the beginning. . .I knew I was going to die at 12. When I'm awaken, it was 6 months ago.

I don't know if I have another half a year to live.

[looks up from the door, listening to him]

...If your wish is to destroy this world, then I will make that wish a reality.

[He tries to hide it that he has a headache and is feeling dizzy and nauseated from stress. He thought it's a sign of the disease that kills him off.]

People don't know I have been observing. When they want Ion. They want Ion who is their friend. They want Ion who doesn't act strange, but kind and helpful. I try to blend in and be that Ion for amusement but the truth is. . .

Part of me wish they just. . .I don't know why I'm hesitating in doing the things I want to do. You're not even bound to me after death. You can always. . .have Luke, if you want to.

[has lost interest in the door now, completely focused on Ion and frowning deeply]

I have no interest in Luke, or any of the others that share your face. You are the Ion that I wish to serve, no other will do.

[He's scoffs and he laughs softly despite of himself. Now he's red because he's embarrassed. He mumbles.] Why me? When I'm not nice and I can't. . .is this what inferiority feels like?

[moves toward him, reaching out to gently stroke his cheek] Because you were the Fon Master Ion that was willing to destroy the Score, with me. You saw the same plague I did and you were willing to do all that was necessary to cure it.

The other Ions may be 'nice', but they've always lacked your strength.

Yes. [Closes his eyes to his touch.] I'm willing to destroy the Score. . .and have you make a new world free from it. It wasn't for evil, good, or peace. It's just. . .a new world where people can. . .stop being lonely. [He wasn't aware that he's crying.]

Fortunately, it seems we've found a new world waiting for ourselves. [brushes the tears away]

This world may still be without a Score. If so, we can live freely, together. And if not, we'll make a world that is free. Simply give me time to confirm it.

All right. I am being irrational.

After all, I never seen my replicas grow up to their full strength before. . .until now. [Laughs, but he couldn't stop crying. At heart, he's really 12 years old.] I think the volcano is something they never forget.

It's all right. I'm...honored that you trust me enough to share even your irrational thoughts with me.

...I doubt that that is something easily forgotten. However, it is not something that can be undone. Try not to concern yourself with it.

All of those replicas. . .are wasting my damn time.

Van, fix the lock.

[frowns at the sudden change in tone, but simply nods and returns to the door]

If they bother you, we can deal with them. [takes a look into the lock then picks what seems the most appropriate tool; repair is not one of his better skills, but he should at least know enough for this]

I think they irritated me, but they don't make me mad. I don't get mad if they insulted me or declare their death threats against me. I don't care what they think they can do to me.

I think. . . I care about my curse.

[attempts to work on the lock, all he needs to do is attach that piece...]

...If there is no Score here, then your curse should be gone.

[ooc: I got to hit the hay. >: Continue tomorrow?]

It should. What I meant is my vegeance. [He spoke quietly.]

I wish they knew I gave them life. . .and maybe death. You just gave them meaning.

Are you, angry with them for that?

I don't know.

Maybe. A little. What do you think? [Watching Van doing manual labor actually has a calming effect on him.]

[tightens something and frowns, not entirely sure if that's the right way to do it]

I imagine you would have reason to be angry with them. They were meant to serve as your replacement and had failed horribly.

Yes. . .and I am right to choose you.

[He can't help but to smile at that.] But I think. . .I changed.

[tests the lock by locking it and giving it a few turns, then frowns when he can't unlock it]

Changed? How so?

Perhaps it's hypothetical. . .but I think I can't kill those replicas.

[stops for a moment, turning to look back at him] You can't kill them? Do you mean, you no longer desire to kill them?

No. I have the desire to kill them and seeing a corpse of myself don't bother me.

I just make the choice not to kill. As if I spare their life on a whim.

So then, you feel that there's something stopping you from taking their lives?

Yes.

Whatever that is, it has to die.

We'll have to learn more about this place then. There may be some form of control here that we've yet to realize.

[Becomes quiet for a while]

I'm still your master, am I?

Of course. Have I ever given you any reason to doubt that?

No, I have no reason to doubt.

Do you still think of me until the day you die?

...Before my death, I thought I had failed you.

You were still in my thoughts, even then.

[He gets up to hold his hands.]

That's good. . .and it'll be okay.

...You forgive me?

[Pulls him into a hug] Of course.

[returns the hug, leaning down to kiss his forehead] Thank you. Hopefully I won't have to ask for your forgiveness again.

No. When you're on your own. . .forgive me just because I'm not beside you.

[OOC: Maybe this is the last time I'll play Ion.]

...Of course, Ion. I can bear no ill-feelings toward you.

[ooc: I saw your post. It'll be sad for Ion to go, but I don't blame you. Just take care, kay?]

Do what you have to do.

[OOC: Also, I don't feel welcomed here, so it's better if I go and don't come back.]

Yes, I shall. You will not be disappointed.

[ooc: I...think I can understand where you're coming from there. I won't say anything on the matter here, but if you want to talk about it, I'm available on AIM and you can always send me a PM on my personal LJ.]

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