abyssdressing | (no subject)

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[Lorelei discovered the kitchen. And has no idea how it all works. so he's kind of twisting and turning everything that looks like it can be twisted and turned, having a lot of fun as he does this]

This cooking thing isn't half as bad as I expected it to be.

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...I feel like a monster.

... [closes his eyes] Luke...

Even before I became like this.

Luke! [sounds really stern and serious now]

*flinches, drawing back.* You would too if you found that you liked tormenting people and even ended up accidentally.. attacking someone.

Luke... [fells really bad now] You... you are not a monster. At least not to me. No matter what you will do or what you have done... You're still human to me.

Then why is it so hard for me to believe that anymore..? Before I died, I was so certain of everything. I'd finally come to terms with who I was. But now I have to do so all over again. I can't even understand why I have to be a girl...

Life throws things at you that you are not prepared for, I know that Luke. And you stumble and fall and don't want to get up at all. You've stood up and fell down again. I'm offering all the help I can if you ask for it.

...I'd do everything for you Luke. [sounds a bit troubled as well]

I just don't know what anyone can do for me. Even Asch has a hard time keeping me from breaking down to how I was when I first came back. I just want to be normal again.

...? *tilts her head curiously at his tone.*

...You want to be male again? [sounds like he's contemplating something]

I-I don't know. I used to think so, but now I'm not sure I'd be used to being that way either. *goes silent, watching.*

Understood. [goes really, really quiet for a while]

*watches, very curious but not wanting to pry or bother him.*

[flexes his fingers and stares at then] Too weak.

Too weak for what..?

Too weak to help you. [looks back up at Luke]

*gives a small smile.* It's alright. You don't have to worry about it.

But I do worry about it. I want to protect you. But I can't. I'm sorry.

Isn't there a saying of you can give a person a mind, but you can't make him think? I may be a fool, but it hasn't gotten me killed. *even if injuries are a common occurence.*

Yet. [yeah, Lorelei is really, really worried] ...I apologize Luke.

... *doesn't really understand why he is.* At least I know where I get my tendency to apologize from.

[is just a worrywart of a father/mother/parent-thingy] I don't apologize too often. [is pouting softly]

As long as you try, that's all you can do.

Maybe it is. Will you do the same Luke?

I think I can manage at least that.