abyssdressing | (no subject)

I used to think a lot like you after Asch brought me back.

But you aren't bad.

Hmm. Depends on what you mean by bad.

You aren't a bad girl. I'm a bad boy, I misbehave.

You're also a child. That's what children do. And I think some would count trying to off yourself as bad.

...You tried to kill yourself...?

For almost the first three months of being like this. ....and then again recently.

...Did you get in trouble?

No. Asch just prevented me from doing so, then held and calmed me until the urge passed.

...I just got in trouble.

*rests her cheek on his head.* ..then I'll do just like Asch did for me. That should help, at least a bit.

I haven't tried for a long time, though... I'm okay. I think, at least.

See? You're doing really good, Asch. You are getting better.

I only did that when it was really bad, though... It just hasn't been bad here.

That's still better than I was. You're very strong to have made it this long and we'll make sure it doesn't get that bad again.

...I still don't think I'm strong.

That's okay. It takes time to see it.

...Really?

Yep. Sometimes I still think I shouldn't be like this, or that it's wrong.

I like you like this, though.

...you do? Why..?

...It would be weird to have parents who are both boys. And mothers are better for taking care of people, and that's what you do for me...

...isn't it already weird to have an older version of yourself as your dad? I think Asch does a better job of looking after you anyway...

...I guess it is, a little bit... Not too weird, though.

...I like you better for taking care of me, though. He's more fun to do things with, and I think he's better at getting me things. But you're a lot better for hugging and snuggling, but he's good too.

Well, as long as you're comfortable with how things are.

...and here I thought I wasn't too good at the parenting thing. Though I think I understand what you mean. Asch does tend to be a bit reserved in his emotions, even if he feels just as much or more than most people.