abyssdressing | (no subject)

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characters: fononfailure

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[ Having wandered around for some time after being bandaged from a fight with a tempermental Asch, Luke is still working on getting back home. But first a quick rest against a tree is in order. Who knew such a short distance would be so tiring? ]

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...he may not even want to see me for a while, so that could give me some time.

...Never thought I'd hear something like that from you.

Like what..?

What happen, for you to be telling me Asch may not even want to see you?

Same as before. I'm just a worthless whore.

...

He's right to get rid of me. All I do is hurt him.

...[leans against the tree] Do you love him?

More than anything. I'd give my life for him again, if I had to.

Then why do you continue to hurt him? What is it that you've been doing, Luke?

That wasn't my intention. I didn't mean to.. I only wanted to help the other Asches here as well. But I was unfaithful to him in doing so.

Help in what way?

There's an Asch that is staying with us and he's overly sensitive to touch. Even the smallest thing gets him worked up in a.. sexual way. So much so that it's painful to him, so I tried to help relieve that.

...

So what you're saying is, his particular help takes priority over your Asch? I can see why he would be hurt.

N..no. Would you walk away from a friend who asked for you help?

I think you could've approach it differently. Would you like your husband to feel like he's being cheated on? What's more important to you, the one you love and would give your life up for? or to satisfy all your friend's need?

Everyone has already said that I screwed up, you don't need to tell me. I know Asch feels betrayed. He's made that clear. That's why I'm not going to do this anymore.

...[runs a hand through his hair, moving away.]

...I'm always surprised by how easily I upset everyone..

Would you rather we didn't care at all? Maybe it's because you don't seem to think through things thoroughly before doing that upsets others.

It might be better for everyone if they didn't care. You can't be hurt if you don't care. Worst part is, I thought I did think it through.

That wouldn't make you any different to how I use to be. [sighs] This may sound harsh but maybe you're just not ready to have a relationship with someone when you apparently can't seem to keep yourself from doing questionable things.

...if I leave him now, I may never get him back. I don't think anyone can truly understand why and how much I need him.

Edited 2008-10-08 03:07 (UTC)

...I never said you had to leave him. I don't think you really understand what it means to love someone yet, but maybe I stepping over the line for saying that.

What else would there be besides leaving him..? I'm not sure how much more of an understanding I can have. I'd almost gotten to the point where I wasn't doing anything with anyone but Asch..